Work has been hard lately. I have been in this position for the last almost three years and the more time I am a "chief" the more I feel like I have to play the part of the position. For example, I have to always think about what I say, how I say it, and check in with the people I am talking to to make sure they understand that where I come from is genuine regard for them even if I have to ask questions. This constant attention to myself in the work environment, a place I am more than any other, is exhausting. I don't really know how to me me in this context of attention.
My personality has always been a bit irreverent and sarcastic and I worry that if that comes through at the wrong time or situation, I could be truly offensive and that is the last thing I want to do. I keep thinking on this issue and trying to navigate a way through that allows me to be me as well as show others my positive regard for them. It is the fun versus the business and melding that together in such a way that allows me to be approachable as well as professional.
Sigh. At least the heat has broken here and it is a beautiful night so I am writing this blog post from the patio. That does soothe my soul somewhat. I also have a Diet Coke and that is a guilty pleasure as well.
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